What To Say To The Mom Who Is Struggling To Potty Train

“Have you tried the 3 day method”?

“My sister’s, neighbors, cousin read the most amazing book that changed everything for them”.

“They’ll do it when they are ready”.

These are just some of the many things I am told when I share with someone that my soon to be five year old twins are still not potty trained. 

We have made lots of progress. And have had several set backs as well. 

The bottom line is, they are not potty trained. And truth be told I don’t know when they will be. 

I went from thinking they weren’t ready, to knowing that they were, to know knowing anything at all. 

I get comments and suggestions from everyone about what to try and what to do and what I am doing wrong and if I am being honest, I am just at a loss. I am beaten down, and I am defeated.

If there is a book or a blog post or a method out there, believe me, I HAVE TRIED IT. 

Bribes, sticker charts, rewards – tried it all. 

We have tried the tougher approaches of losing privileges etc and still nothing clicks. 

And I find myself so unbelievably frustrated and honestly very sensitive about the subject. I cringe when someone I know brings it up and I have to muster up the words to tell them that “no, we are still not peeing and pooping on the potty”

Chances are if you have ever found yourself in a similar place you know how the comments and the looks can make you feel. Even from people you know mean well and love you. 

I know that nobody has ever meant any harm by their suggestions and recommendations, but I also am quickly learning that really the only thing you should ever say to a mom who is struggling with potty training is…

I’M SORRY. 

No suggestions or quick tips. Chances are if she is at this point she has exhausted all her efforts and she just needs a friend. No links to this new FB article on the 5 tips to have your kid peeing on the potty by tomorrow or suggesting the sink the cheerio game for the thousandth time. Just I am sorry.

And sometimes, when the words fail, a delivery of lysol and wine works just fine.