It was 6 years ago, I was standing in the bathroom brushing Madisyn’s hair and getting her ready for Kindergarten. I was 8 months pregnant with Megan. As I braided her hair she asked the question all parents are never prepared for….”Mom, where do babies come from”?
Uhhhhhh……….
I started to sweat and tried to think fast, and ended up just simply saying “What a great question. Where do you think babies come from”?
Her response? Priceless.
“I think an angel comes down and kisses your belly and then, POOF, a baby is in there. And then your tummy get’s really big and then in a long long time, the baby falls out your BUTT”!
Yes, baby. That is exactly what happens.
Then came first grade. Will and I were in the car rider line to pick Madisyn up from school and saw she was sobbing. She got into the car and I asked her what happened. “A boy said he wanted to have SEX with me” {Yeah, first grade people}. My jaw dropped to the floor, I started to shake and see red. Who is this boys mother? I am gonna hunt him down. As I am asking if she told her teacher, Will calmly asks her “And why does that make you so upset”? She stopped crying looked at us both and said “When a boy wants to have sex with you it means he wants to KILL you”. Trying not to laugh, Will told her “You are exactly right Madisyn. If a boy ever tells you he wants to have sex with you, you should run FAR away”. #parentoftheyear
In all seriousness though, it was just this past year that Madisyn and I had “the talk”. She was going in to 5th grade. And you know what? She knew a lot more than I realized. And as we talked it dawned on me that I probably should have had that conversation earlier.
As parents, we seem to make it our #1 priority to protect our children. Over time though, I have come to find that while yes I do want to protect her, and protect all my kids, at some point I have to start PREPARING them. Preparing them for life and all the hard things that are going to come their way.
It’s a hard balance in wanting to protect their innocence, but I am here to tell you, if you aren’t talking to them about sex, I guarantee their friends are. I was shocked at some of the things Madisyn knew already and what kids her age talked about. Heck, some of the boys in her yearbook this year signed with the hashtag “demnutz”. And while I thought “Aw that’s cute, have they even dropped yet”? I was appalled that they thought that was appropriate to write in my daughters yearbook.
But these are the times we live in now. Sex is everywhere and it’s our job as parents to be talking to our kids about it. I found this article on Parenting.com website with a breakdown of ages and what kids that fall into those age groups are usually capable of understanding. Our church as also started using a new platform called Faith@Home that has been amazing. It has information on every topic under the sun on parenting and marriage and just the family unit as a whole. According to Faith @ Home, by 8 -9 years old you should have already had the sex talk with your children. They are big believers in the protect then prepare philosophy.
Clearly, I dropped the ball on that one….
The sooner you talk, the sooner you can speak truth and truly educate instead of allowing Sally Sue that sits behind your kid in Reading give her version of what sex is. You want to be the one to have that talk with them. It may be scary, but it is necessary.
Protect & Prepare people.
At what age did you talk to your kids about sex? Any wisdom you could share with those who still need to have “the talk”?
Ugh, I had butterflies in my stomach as I read this, remembering how it went with Bec & knowing what needs to be told to Izzy. My only advise is to be honest. If they ask, answer as honestly as you can. Try not to be embarrassed & don’t let it show that you’re insides are squirming. 😉 You want them to keep coming back to YOU with questions & to talk to you when something’s bothering them. And seriously….demnutz?!?! Michelle, make a mental note now to tell your boys not to write about their “nutz” in a girls yearbook!!! LOL! 🙂
great post and so something we need to be talking about with our kids and with each other! The sex talk is done best when it is an ongoing conversation through out our kids’ lives…its awkward, we all mess it up at times but it is so important that we keep the conversation going and evolving as our kids get older. Geez…diapers and feedings and all that was so much easier…ha!
My son is only 11 months old, so we still have a ways before the sex talk, but I remember how it was for my brother-who is now 16. When he was still in elementary school, I remember the jokes “that’s what she said” that he would come home saying. It truly is amazing how early they learn things..haha
Thank you so much for sharing! <3