It’s a funny thing trying to share your heart on the internet. I have sat at my computer for probably well over an hour trying to put into words just how I am feeling. Trying to be careful in how I express myself to not upset anyone and start an ever present and always annoying mommy war.
I am just gonna put this out there, I don’t believe in the whole working moms vs. stay at home moms war.
I think all moms have a tough gig.
Mama guilt is a real you know what.
It is alive and well in all of us, weather we work full time or stay at home, weather we have one kid or we have 20….we all feel guilty at least once a day. Feel like we are messing up. Like we aren’t enough.
I go back to work full time this week and I will be honest, I am struggling.
Out of nowhere this guilt has come over me…this I am abandoning my babies and am never going to see them and they are going to forget who I am and I am going to miss everything guilt.
And I know it’s all lies. Every last bit of it.
To The Mom Going Back To Work,
Don’t let guilt steal your joy. There is a reason you were called back to the workforce. You are honoring that call and that is nothing to feel guilty about. No matter your reason, remember that you have a purpose. And while it may look different than Sally Jane’s mom or your neighbors down the street, you are doing what is best for your family.
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda. Remove the word should from your vocabulary immediately. Our shoulds are societies expectations on what they think things need to look like and comparison is the theif of our joy. There is no right way to parent and just because you made every school assembly and PTA meeting and had dinner on the table by 5 every night does not make you a good mom. You are more than your shoulds.
I think it was Jenn Hatmaker that said if it’s not a HELL YES it’s a NO. It’s time to cut out the things that distract us from all the things we feel guilty about missing. We have a beautiful and unique opportunity to look at things with fresh eyes…revalute what is truly important so that we can be intentional with the time we do have at home with our families. It doesn’t have to be about quantity, but quality. Removing all the distractions and the No’s will leave more time to soak in every opportunity we are given with our kiddos.
Fill your cup. Look at your opportunity as glass half full. And continue to fill it. Time for you and your needs…to have real adult conversations…fill your cup with the things that bring you joy. Lunch with coworkers, or knowing that you totally kicked butt on that important project. Fill it up so that when you get home you can pour it out into your family. Sometimes we as mamas forget to fulfill our own needs and our own happiness. It’s nothing we need to apologize for.
To all the mamas out there know that your job status does not define you as a parent. Weather you work away from the home or you work in the home know that you are doing an amazing job and that even if your parenting doesn’t look like what someone told you it should (seriously, it’s a four letter word) nobody knows what your family needs more than you do! Keep your head up and know that you are AMAZING and don’t let the mama guilt get you down.
Yes ma’am!!! I work from home and this summer having 8 eyeballs staring at me while I was on the computer or sitting at the table replying to an email from my phone was SO HARD! Like I was choosing technology over pretend play with them. GUILT stinks but we are teaching them that mom’s are superheroes too and we can balance SO many things at once. Talking through what I was doing with them to let them know the “WHY” I was on the computer and “HOW” it helps our family helped… { {Helped me anyway} 😉
Thank you for this post. It’s so nice to hear that our mommy guilt is a common thing and it’s OKAY to feel certain ways if you go back to work or stay at home with the LO. Makes me appreciate women even more!
Good luck on your first week at work!
You know I know how that guilt rolls. It’s hard. But what we are doing great things for our kids, and they are seeing the hard work we are putting into our families. You put this perfectly, girlfriend!