Coffee Confessions

Welcome to Coffee Confessions, aka a good ol’ healthy dose of free blog therapy. No cute DIY, or tasty recipe for you today…just confessions from yours truly. Maybe it’s the former Catholic girl in me but I feel like a little confession is good for the soul. It’s been way too long since my last confession so let’s just get right to it shall we?

I confess…..

That my first born, the one that made me a mama, will be THIRTEEN this Friday. What the actual heck? I am going to have a teenager? If anyone needs me this weekend I will be in denial and crying at my computer looking at old pictures and videos.

I have yet to buy anything Pumpkin flavored as of yet and it is taking all my will power. Texas still needs to get right with God because it was 99 degrees out on the first day of Fall, but I more than likely won’t be able to hold off much longer. I see a trip to Trader Joe’s in my very near future. Their pumpkin rolls are my J-A-M!

My husband and I had to cancel a trip to Seattle and I am super bummed about it. I was looking forward to spending time with my sister and just spend some quality time with my favorite guy. After our long road of PA school we really want to take some time to celebrate our hard work. We have been toying with the idea of taking a long weekend to Orlando and visiting HarryPotter World sometime in December. Part of us feels guilty for heading to Orlando without the kiddos but then the other part seems super exciting to get the chance to act like kids ourselves without coordinating nap schedules and potty breaks.

My boys still aren’t potty trained and as much as I want to be ok with it…it’s actually starting to really stress me out. They have been trying more which is encouraging and we no longer scream on the potty but they just do not get the whole feeling the urge and telling someone part. Mama prayers for patience needed. 

And while we are on the subject of prayers I am just gonna confess the big thing that is hard to say out loud but also really hard to hide. Because blogging has always been my safe space and outlet, and because it’s been hard to really write and fake it the last few months, I think it just needs to be said. I am currently dealing with some type of depression. I am taking some steps to change it and seeking help, but it has been a really really hard two months. I cry every day and as much as I try to take time to count my blessings and find joy in each day, I am struggling. My family and friends have been super supportive and I currently just take things day by day. It’s hard to share that in such a public setting, but I also think that it shouldn’t be so hard to talk about your hurts. It has always been a sort of code of conduct that you don’t air your dirty laundry in public and while I believe some things should be kept private, I also see no point in suffering in silence. I for one want the community, the prayers, the acceptance. 

And my final confession of the day, I confess that while I am totally failing at the whole blogger and social media game that I am so grateful and thank you for all that it has provided. So many wonderful people have blessed my life through various online communities and even on days when we don’t talk so many of you amazing women inspire and encourage me on a daily basis with your words and your willingness to share your truths and your hearts. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for your friendship and support.