6 days y’all. In 6 days I will have a middle schooler on my hands.
I know it’s cliche but where the heck did the time go? For real…..
I guess like it or not, middle school is happening and it scares me to death.
Middle school is tough, and while it was a while ago, it seems like just yesterday {decked out in Contempo Casual and jamming out to Ace Of Base} that I was attending the same school Madisyn will be going to. Flashbacks from that time in my life have been flooding my mind all summer long in anticipation for this next week.
Truth time: I was not a very nice person in Middle School. In fact, I was a bit of a Mean Girl. And there are so many things I regret about my middle school experience. Of course the trials and tough times shaped me into the person I am now, but there are some things I want Madisyn to really think about going into this whole Middle School experience.
We have been having lots of chats recently. Talking about everything from grades to boys to band and everything in between. I have been honest with Madisyn about my experiences in Jr High and talking about things I loved, and talked about things I wished I would have done differently.
Some of the key things I want her to remember over the next few years are:
While these may be formative years, they will not define you. Middle School is a big time in a young girls life, I won’t deny this. But the mistakes you make don’t have to define you for the rest of your life. They can if you chose to let them, but know that there is never a mistake too big that you can’t overcome. I am living proof of that.
Being kind is way cooler than being popular. I wish Jr. High Michelle would have known this sooner. Fitting in and being cool should never involve being rude or hurtful to another human being. Period. There will be cliques. There will be drama. But always, always choose kindness.
Surround yourself with good people. You know the saying you are what you eat? Well, you are who you are friends with. If you are friends with the mean girls, then guess what?? YOU are a mean girl. You may not be the one to say the rude things, but you are guilty by association. Take it from a former middle school mean girl, sometimes it’s what you don’t say that is the problem.
Boys will come and go. My mom said it all the time and I never listened, so I am bracing myself because, well, HORMONES. But seriously, the boys you like in Jr. High are not your forever love. The fraction of the percentage of people that meet the love of their life in Jr. High are slim to none. The person you need to focus on loving in Middle School is YOURSELF.
Don’t worry about having a plan, because God does. It may seem like so many of your peers have it more together than you. They may make better grades or win more awards and that may seem like they have an advantage. You don’t need to worry though. You don’t need to know what you want to do with you life in Jr. High. You will learn throughout Middle School and even High School and College and beyond that you will constantly be growing and evolving and changing. You don’t have to have a plan now, because God does. He has had a plan for you since before you were born and His ways are perfect. Trust and Follow Him and you will never be steered wrong.
I see a lot of talks in the coming years. Some that will perhaps be difficult but the one thing I have told Madisyn is that nothing is off limits. There is nothing that she can’t come talk to me about and I will make sure with everything in me to keep the communication lines open.
To all my fellow middle school mamas, WE GOT THIS.
Michelle – I never thought of you as a mean girl in middle school – high school, maybe, HA – just kidding! This post is really good!!! Mine is just starting kindergarten, but I am dreading middle school. I need to print this out so I remember it when my girl gets there. I’m sure it goes by much faster than I think it will!
The best thing a middle schooler can have is a goal. No plan results in kids that are bored and start looking for a thrill (trouble) I know from my personal experience. When my kids started middleschool I told them we were going to go with my plan until they had one if there own. I expected A’s and got em. Never saw my kids even crack a book at home. Being a single mom raising 3 kids I held them to a high standard because I never wanted anyone to refer to my kids as “those kids”. They were well liked and involved in sports and dance competitions. Wish my mom had realized how important getting involved and being focused on something would have saved me and her from unnecessary heartache. Good luck and have fun with your sweet one
I am a middle school PE teacher and see how much girls struggle. These are difficult years for kids. I think its great you are honest with your daughter and are communicating about these difficult things. Great post.